To Continue Or Not... ??

With the onset of new urban society, more and more woman are being a part of bread winner of the family. Most of the working woman are excelling in their chosen field and coming up with flying colors. Like a man, woman also have aspiration of getting a promotion, a big paycheck, climbing up the corporate ladder or going for higher studies, etc..
In India these culture change has come just within last 15-20 years. And this change has created a lot of confusing in the family setup that was going on for years. Specially in the mind of a working woman...

As much as I have seen of the world and friends around me, the new age husband is normally very supportive of wife's career, her aspiration, her career goals etc. And if there is a good understanding between the two, there are not much ego clashes and the minor issues like dividing the house work, cooking, etc get sorted out pretty easily (with bit of fighting, then making up and then nagging, etc :)

The confusion in this setup arises when the couple plans to start a family. During this time, the wife is faced with a big question of whether to continue with the job or leave it to take care of the kid. As a working woman, I can understand that this is not as easy decision.

On one hand, its a job which normally defines your identity (in some way.. ). Its a way of validating yourself and your ego that you are doing something worthwhile... being in a job gives a feeling of independence. Being in job, just doesn't mean to bring back the paycheck home... there is a lot more factors involved in it than just money... And thus its not very easy to give up your job..

And then on the other hand, if you continue with the job, who will take care of the kid??.. Is it ok to keep the your child with some maid and then keep thinking how your child will be treated by her... Is it worth to deprive your child of the motherly love and also deprive yourself of being in touch with all the growing up process of your kid...

I am very surely, all the working mother would be going through this dilemma.. And offcourse they would take the best decision for their family and their kid...
But still this question lingers in my mind now and then... And I still don't know the answer yet... But I am very sure when the time comes for me, things will get sorted out own their own...

PS: To all those who know me personally, please don't get the wrong impression... I do not have any good new...:) This is just a question that keep coming to my mind now and then.. And so this post

Some time to Enjoy??

Somebody had shared this song on facebook.. wow its an amazing song.. If you are a fan of old hindi songs, please go ahead and listen to it.. It will surely uplift your mood ...
Here the heroin is telling hero to halt and enjoy the beauty.. Its the hero who wants to reach the destination faster before the day ends.. If you see its so symbolic...

All of us are running after something in life.. It may be a much anticipated promotion, or a huge house in a perfect location or a car which is friends envy... And offcourse its good to be ambitious.. Its gives a direction in ones life...

But yes how much ambitious is a question that you need to ask yourself.. Would you give up to play with your kids every evening for a big promotion?? Would you skip lovely evenings/weekends with your spouse for a big house that you dream to buy?? Would you back stab your close friends to move ahead of them or to show them your superiority??

Life will not fall apart if you have to stay in a rented house for 2-3 extra years, or if you get 85% instead of 90% in your exams or if there is a small delay in your promotion.. But life may change if you loose respect of your kids or if you unable to have quality time with your spouse or if you end up loosing your close friends.. In the end, once you reach the your goal, maybe you would realize what you have missed on the way...

Maybe its time to sit back and experience the beauty of life around us and appreciate it before moving ahead...

Life's so Strange...

I have a traveling job... Every 2-3 weeks, I have to pack my bags and go around Singapore region to do some client work or conduct some training...

Before marriage I would have loved to get this kind of job.. We gain more confidence in our work interacting with various people, get to stay in 5 star hotels, visit different places, experience new cultures and on top of that earn extra money through perdiem ... What else could I have asked...

But now, I am somehow not so found of traveling for work (traveling with family is altogether a different thing). The thought of Vishal and feeling that "He will be alone at home... " keeps me wishing to go back to Singapore and counting my days in the foreign country.

This is the same job that I would have loved to do two years back... And now why do I feel I shouldn't do this kind of job?? Why there is such a difference after marriage? Has marriage changed me so much that my preferences have taken U turn... ? Do all the other girls also go through the similar situation and dilemma or is it just me??

I am not sure...Seriously life is so strange..

To all Permanent Things...

"The only thing constant in life is change". I don't know who has written this but its true.
All of us know it and have gone through many changes in life... job change, place change, people change... Everything is changing everyday. It depends on our maturity to accept those changes gracefully whether we like it or not....

ok this blog is not about changes and accepting changes... This blog is about permanent things in life... Yes there are many things changing in our life but there is something that do not change so easily... That is our foundation of life, our moral values that are taught to us from childhood, the people that are most important in our life...
Like if honesty is one of my value..., it will still remain the same for me even after 10 years eventhough many other external things will change... Its the same with people... Like Vishal, my parents, in-laws and my best friends will still have the same place in my heart.. eventhough many people will come and go in my life...

I know there are many people who will not agree to this. Many of my friends think that people change.. External circumstances change them completely. I do not totally agree with them. But I respect their opinion. Off-course they would have gone through some experiences in life to have formed this opinion.

But to me... Most of the important things will remain the same in my life. I can hold on to them (important people and my values) when I need support during tough phases of life because I can be sure that they won't change and leave me when I need them the most...
So cheers to all the important things in Life... :)

Just a Click Away ...

oh... I am feeling restless... My head is a little heavy.. like there is something pending... oh something is wrong..
I get to thinking.. whats different? No, I don't have a important meeting in the office or any presentation.. or any fights with Vishal or anything unusual as such.. Then I realized its been almost 2 days since I have spoken to my parents.. aha.. thats why my head was heavy like something is missing in me ...

Then one more thought crosses my mind... If my condition is like this, what my parents or our previous generation would have gone through being away from loved ones for months/years... I remember we had our first phone in our house when I was in 1st or 2nd standard (around 1990 - 1991). Before that communication used to happen with letters and important or urgent things had to be conveyed through telegram which used to take 2 days to reach. Then came the age of truck call where maximum time was just 9 mins giving way to STD and mobile phones thereafter.

All this seems so far fetched, but yeah we all have gone through the difficult days... More than us our parents have gone through it.. I can imagine what kind of heavy feeling they would have had for days without any feeling of comfort ...

We all should be glad that we don't have to go through that discomfort feeling ... Our loved ones are just a click away ... :)

A Big Event ...

Just few days back we got a great news that my sis-in-law (Gudia)'s marriage has been fixed. And the wedding will be in November this year. Guy is of Gudia's choice and the family is really good. Everyone is happy. And offcourse Gudia is more than happy. She is also relieved since she doesn't have go through the process of seeing the prospective guy, evaluating them and getting judged. And also answering mummy-papa why she didn't like the guy, etc, etc ...

Wow.. everyone is elated and getting ready for all the preparation that has to be done for the big day. off course, I am also very very happy, but a little sad too for my own selfish reason.. I am sad because when I go home after Gudia's marriage, she will not be there with me. We both are partner in crime for everything right from eating almost 1 kg of chocolate in a span of 15 mins (and then off-course cribbing about the weight gain) to irritating mummy and Vishal to the core so that they had to literally shoo us away. Gudia is very lively. No can stop laughing when we are around her just because of her sense of humor. For her I can say that there is never a dull moment around her..
I also got a lot of support from her when I was newly married. Gudia was always by my side whenever I needed her. I have to really thank god for giving me such good sis-in-law. I couldn't have ask for more..

Since I have no sister, I never realized how it feels like when a girl leaves home after marriage. Now I am getting a feel of that... But it all happens for good... So here I am wishing my sis-in-law a very happy life ahead. Maybe she gets all that she wants...

PS: This blog is dedicated to Gudia. She is one of my best friend. I couldn't have asked for more from God... :)

In God We Trust

So many times we tend to talk to ourselves... Last week was one of that week for me when I was my own friend... Being new to office, I didn't have many friends plus my job of being a consultant involves traveling and all of my immediate colleague were overseas this week.. So that left me totally alone in the office... I wished that I had more friends in office ... But for a change I also enjoyed just being own my own...

So today when I having lunch all alone, I was wondering how will I handle this new assignment which looks much more challenging and scary that any of the job assignment that I have done so far. Then a voice from inside me said.... "Don't worry God will take care of everything... God has given you this assignment just because he knows that you will be able to handle it... Otherwise he wouldn't have put you into this.. " It is a very very soothing and positive thought.. Gives me energy to go ahead and accept any challenges that will come along the way.

Then a next thought suddenly crossed my mind... "Does god really exists? If he really exists, then why are so many natural and man-made calamities, why there is so much of negative emotions around us..., why so many animals get extinct each year..., why there are so many untimely deaths...etc ... etc.. " And I couldn't give any logical answer for any of those questions...

So my logical mind still has got this doubt about existence of God, but my heart always says.... "God will take care of you... Just do the best in everything you take up... help the needy and everything will fall into place..." This is such a positive belief and I want to hold on to it... Even though there is no logical explanation of existence of God, just this belief can give faith and do miracles... It gives immense amount of energy to face challenges head on and in the end you emerge as a winner proving the existence of god... :)

Indian Tea -- A Tradition

Vishal always feel that I am crazy about drinking tea... He cannot understand how can I drink and enjoy tea in Singapore's hot climate. After getting married to Vishal, I always wanted his company for Sat and Sun evening tea. But he normally doesn't like hot drinks... :( So it just leaves me alone with no company for tea...

Go to think of it, being crazy for tea has got much more deeper meaning than just its taste. Drinking tea reminds me of my Indian-ess.... In India, drinking tea is a culture in itself. Every morning and evening there will be tea in almost all the Indian homes marking a start of new day or a lovely evening. Any guest cannot leave the house without having at least a cup of tea. In the morning, everyone in the house will normally sit together having a cup of tea and talking about all the interesting news that has come in newspaper... Life wasn't complete without tea...

And now I am in a new land ( ok ok... not that new anymore but still... ). I crave for Indian tea... And the only option to get is make it urself ( and its so boring as I always had someone else making tea for me..) and drink it all alone... :(
aha.. I miss India..

Going Aganist the Gravity ...

Its was unlike all other valentine's day... We already had a big fight at home... (and wow for making up Vishal first time made ginger tea for me but in the vessel which I use for cooking subji!!!) We had not decided where should we go as being Chinese New Year (CNY) everything in Singapore was closed and all the restaurants were booked!!!! And we cursed that at least one of us should have taken initiative to book a nice restaurant...

Anyhow, just to do something we went out aimlessly roaming with our friends... Realized that all the malls are closed... I wanted to see Lion dance which is very famous during CNY time, but our bad luck we reached late... :( I didn't want to come back home soon, so at last went to clarke (the night life place in Singapore). Had a drink or two and sitting there by the side of the river, we could see many people going for reverse Bungy. I had always wanted to go for it. It was something so adventurous and scary.. Just to test my own confidence and guts I wanted to go. I asked Vishal once... And being V day and not being able to do anything worthwhile till now... he at last agreed ...

wow!! It was once in a lifetime experience... This Valentine's day was indeed unlike all others... This would be the day which I would remember forever....

Life Moves On ..

Today when I sitting in the meeting room for the weekly status meeting, my manger said next week we will discuss about some new machine being launched ... Then I suddenly realize I won't be there to attend this meeting next week. Its my last week in the office.

It was a strange feeling.. Strange to think that next week at the same time and the same place, all my team members will be there to attend the meeting and talk about the product and weekly status... Only I won't be there... It was like thinking everything else is stagnant and I am the person who is leaving everything and moving on to my next destination.... Today if I go back to my first organization, maybe the project that I worked on would still be running, they might be having the same monday morning status meeting in the same meeting room with some familiar faces around... It seems so far fetched.. but it might be really happening...

How time flies .. If I look back, I can still see myself getting ready for school, and then collage, then my first job, my marriage .... etc etc ... Now I have again moved on.. leaving my third job, in search of satisfaction and happiness ... Yeah true, nothing is permanent in life... we have to move on and on and on .........

A lil bit of extra love!!!

Before getting married to Vishal, I never liked pets... I used to always think that people who keep pets are from different planet... I could not come in terms with staying along with animal....
I am scared of all kinds of animals (human beings included... :) but specially scared of dogs. In my childhood, twice I was almost bitten by some stray dogs...
So when Vishal told me about Chikku/Tuffy (his pet at home... ) during our courtship time, it never occurred me that I will also have to come face to face with him in sometime ....
After marriage, I did realize that I have a big task in my hand to befriend with this creature who is most important member of our family. This was the first time I was coming across any pet and if I have to stay in his house, I have to make myself known to Chikku. And make him accept me as the member of the family. My god... this was a big task and I had no idea how to do this seemingly easy (but difficult) task ...

Slowly, I did realize that Chikku is really intelligent and has a unique mind of his own... The best is he has his own family hierarchy... So in his mind the our family hierarchy is something like this.... Papa --> Mom --> Vishal --> Chikku --> Gudia. So Papa being the eldest, he will not bark at him and listen to everything that he says...Gudia he treats like a kid and expects that Gudia should do everything that he commands. (Gudia should give him roti in his mouth he will not pick it up if she keeps it on the ground.. ). Mummy always says that Chikku is my most favorite son and I can hear Vishal grumbling on phone... :)

When I started visiting Vishal's place in Delhi frequently, Chikku stopped barking at me.. Slowly he started accepting that I always come back home with Vishal.... When Vishal goes back home after 2-3 months, Chikku gets so excited and happy that he will jump all over the place, will not let us talk. Only after he has finished his part of welcoming, we can talk to everyone else in the family... Although, I have not yet succeeded in getting this kind of welcome from him, I always wish that one day I would be able to get the same kind of love and attention from him...

Deep down I realized that Chikku can feel if anyone at home is feeling low or in trouble. I came to know why everyone is so crazy about dog as a pet. Everyone in my family shares a special and different relationship with Chikku. He is someone who makes our family so unique and so loving... I am just amazed how a small creature like Chikku who can't speak our language, do not have the so called human emotions, can understand whatever is going on in our heart.. he is really the one who knows what unconditional love is... Maybe thats why god made lovely creature like Chikku, to make us human realize that there is something more than materialistic things in life ....

Difficult days!!!

In life, good things doesn't come easy... All of us have known that. But we realize it only when we go through tough situations. Yeah I am going through that kind of situation right now when I am in a fix as to what I should do.

I always feel that I am God's favorite child. And God will take care of me if I give the fullest from my side. So when a dream job opportunity came my way, I knew that its God's plan for me to realize my dreams. Things went on so easy for me till the time I got the official job offer. I was surprised that how can I get the offer without giving an interview. Also, the company needs my knowledge and experience so desperately that they made the job description tailor made so that my resume can fit in that job profile. Everything was/is going well in that aspect. Its a win-win situation. I need them (after doing my current crappy, horrible job) and they need me... It couldn't believe that I can be so lucky that my dream job will drop on my lap just without any efforts from my side ...

So yeah, things were easy till I got a job offer. My real tuff situation started when I had to leave my current job. First of all, I am in my current job just for 3 months (I normally don't switch my job so frequently.. but my current job is really crappy and I know I can't stay here for a year as my contract says). Secondly there will be some monetary loss since I have to break the contract plus I have to buyout one month notice. In between I was in a little doubt about whether I am doing the right thing.. However, Vishal reminded me that its ur dream job.. And don't loose on this opportunity...

So I put my papers. No response from my consultant. After 2-3 days, I tried initiating a talk about this. They called me to their office... When I went there, I was totally shocked of what I had to go through. They blamed me for spoiling their company reputation, threatened me that they will spoil my name in Singapore job market by giving me bad reference. I had never faced such a immature and unprofessional talk in my life. It was my call to keep quite and not to response to them in the similar way. (Maybe I did wrong, maybe I should have shouted back at them like how they did.. but I was totally unprepared for this kind of talk). It was like I was facing a fish market kind of fight. Now they are not providing me with a exact relieving date. My next employer is saying that tell them you will go to the police and complain about her, also tell them that I will go and complain to MOM about the way that they are behaving. I have not done anything wrong, so I need not worry... But it worries me little if I have to go to police or MOM. Or if I have to just stop coming to office. Maybe becos I have not done anything like this before. Maybe I am not sure of its repercussions... Or maybe I just thinking what others will think about it .. (gosh!! .. I know so idiotic). I am just hoping that God will show me the path...

I still curse the day when I took the current offer. I should have investigated as how my consultant is and should have seen more finer points of my contract. Yeah, everyone does mistakes.. I also did by taking up this offer. I know I have to face the consequences... But this is also temporary phase. It can't go on for long... This will also pass through sooner or later...

This phase has also added some experience in my life.. Also made me realize that no good thing comes easy... We have to work for it some way or another... And I know whatever happens, it happens for good.. When God is on my side, nothing can go wrong... :)